16 Dumbass Comments:

At Saturday, September 02, 2006 7:23:00 PM,  Brookelina said...

I love you Beefy, but I think it might be best if you didn't reproduce.

 

At Sunday, September 03, 2006 1:46:00 PM,  WhiteBoyBob said...

Ah, Philip Larkin. The daft old pornography obsessed right wing racist.

I do like that poem though. I think it tells one a lot about the poet.

The less said about the bed-wetting thing goes the better. You can get adult sized nappies for that sort of thing you know.

Seriously though man, about the drugs and booze and shit - you don't have lay down the law. I have no intention of being a "do as I say, not as I did" type parent. I'll try to be as honest as possible and tell them the truth. You can't stop them doing that stuff anyway, just as our parents couldn't stop us, so you might as well be as truthful as is prudent. Obviously, telling them what a blast your $5000 a day crack, PCP and hooker addiction was may not be advisable.

 

At Sunday, September 03, 2006 1:48:00 PM,  WhiteBoyBob said...

PS I'm always leaving stuff in my pockets and them then being shoved in the washing machine, you ask Geebles.

 

At Monday, September 04, 2006 7:15:00 AM,  Nick said...

I think you'll make a fine father, Beefy. Regardless of any faults you may or may not have.

In regards to your little poem, The Offspring said something similar in one of their songs. It went like this:

Nothing changes cause it's all the same
The world you get's the one you give away
It all just happens again
Way down the line
And all the things you learn when you're a kid
You'll fuck up just like your parents did

 

At Monday, September 04, 2006 9:58:00 AM,  Captain Beefheart said...

Thanks Brooke, but that's kind of a moot point now.

Wrick, I suppose you're right. Just fess up as much as seems prudent at the time and assume they're only telling me a fraction of what they get up to.

Nick, thanks you kindly and The Offspring offer us some wise words indeed.

I may be dumb but I'm not a dweeb
I'm just a sucker with no self esteem

 

At Monday, September 04, 2006 1:04:00 PM,  Übermilf said...

I think you've been listening to the wrong music and it's depressing you.

I prescribe P-Funk, Parliament, Bootsy Collins, George Clinton ... or any combination of the above.

 

At Monday, September 04, 2006 11:35:00 PM,  Chris said...

That musical prescription can only result in more of this kind of introspection 9 months later.

How about a polka and a nice cold shower?

 

At Wednesday, September 06, 2006 5:52:00 AM,  Geebles said...

I think impending parenthood is harder on men than women.

Women decide to have children because we cannot escape the hormones telling us we have to reproduce and nuture. We don't think about it, or analyse it, we are simply lead by our ovaries. Brain has closed down.

Men on the other hand, I believe, don't usually get those same urges and therefore spend hours wondering whether they can afford it, cope with it or be good at it. A labotomy helps at this point.

Beefy, you will be a good Dad. I mean if Whiteboybob can do it so can you.

 

At Wednesday, September 06, 2006 8:47:00 AM,  Captain Beefheart said...

See, if we tried to use that excuse of being led by our hormones with regards certain misadventures (be it infidelity, violence or buying a competitively bigger car) it just wouldn't wash.

But thanks anyway ;o)

I'm not really a P Funk kinda guy, but I'm quite into Placebo at the moment. "Baby, did you forget to take your meds?"

 

At Wednesday, September 06, 2006 2:38:00 PM,  WhiteBoyBob said...

I use the old "it was me 'ormones, love" trick all the time.

 

At Thursday, September 07, 2006 2:35:00 AM,  Squid said...

I know easier said then done, but don't fret so much. You will be a fine Daddy. If it is any consollation, I have seen the children of a man who was a drug dealing, hells angel fraternising, heroin addict grow up into fine young men under his parentage. They are perfectly capable of making there own decisions about things and I can't see either of them going off the rails any time soon. Offer advice to your children based on your own experience, good and bad. It will have a lot more impact on them knowing you are not talking about out of your arse. Be willing to listen as well, so that they can tell you if things start to get a bit messy and you can help sort them out. I KNOW you can do that from personal experience! Nobody is perfect and trying to hard to be will only give them expectations of themselves that they will never be able to live up to. Everyone leaves stuff in there pockets to go manky. Normally snotty tissues with me. Besides, you don't have to worry about any of that stuff for at least another ten years! Between now and then the most important thing you have to do is dispence lots of hugs and things that make them giggle. If you do that, which I KNOW you can, they will be just fine and so will you. You are now, and always have been, somebody I am proud to know.
And, seeing as I am at it, wear sunsceen...

 

At Thursday, September 07, 2006 7:56:00 AM,  Captain Beefheart said...

You are most kind Squidling, and I'm glad I can come to you for advice. Thanks ;o)

 

At Thursday, September 14, 2006 8:32:00 AM,  Übermilf said...

I can give you my homemade mac and cheese recipe if you think it will make you a better father.

 

At Sunday, September 24, 2006 7:23:00 PM,  Brookelina said...

You better not be out reproducing!!

 

At Monday, September 25, 2006 12:59:00 PM,  thephoenixnyc said...

Okay that settles it. I'm getting a vasectomy. LOL

 

At Monday, October 16, 2006 2:18:00 PM,  Ghone said...

where are you, you tart x

 

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